Les Rouges n’Allez

As a season’s ticket sucker subscriber, I eagerly await the yearly delight of the ‘package’ arrival at Casa thehandoftamm. Year Five in the Khmer Rouge calendar promises aspirations for a playoff berth in 2011. They’ve committed to this stated aim in writing, no less. Same as before, we get more scarves, more books of tickets, more empty hopes. And also a 2010 yearbook–the cheek of which is really quite outrageous when we consider the poor form that we can relive whilst flipping the pages on the couch and listening to this sporting nation’s pundits prognosticate that there will be little cause for joy come October.  Maybe little cause throughout the season. I take heart in that, while the tickets cost more than double what they did in the first season, the beer at the stadium has only gone up about 20%. I leave it to your imagination as to which one I spend more on in the average season at BMO Field.

The season opens tomorrow in Vancouver against the newly-arrived Whitecaps. I predict much celebrating on Pacific Time.

Where Are The Passes You Intercepted?

If this is a diplomatic football ground, then where is the Ambassador?

Just when the newsweek threatened to slow to a tbohot posting every couple of days, AC Milan played Tottenham Hotspur in the Champions League and the team owned by…wait for it…Silvio Berlusconi found itself bringing the beautiful game into disrepute with a sideline drama involving Mr. Manners himself, Gennaro Gattuso. Keep it classy, why dontcha?

Ah, there were so many ways to play the photo mash-up … helmet and chinstrap on the Spurs coach instead? Click pic to see the original and consider the word written under the Captain’s armband…

thehandofFIFA

It was announced today that Russia will host the 2018 World Cup and tbothot wonders how many players will have their legs broken off the pitch versus on. Get your rich oligarch parents’ money ready: world hunger’s gone forever and World Cup Fever can be broken in Vladivostok, Murmansk, and St. Petersburg! They’ll be fishing them out of Lake Baikal every 30 minutes, what?

Also of note is Qatar being awarded the Cup for 2022. That one of their ambassadors for the bid was headbutt specialist Zinedine Zidane might indicate the tactics employed in the pursuit of sporting excellence as well…Draw your own conclusons on the beauty of this game.

One-One, None

Whole lot of friendly football going on in this town at present. Last week, it was the Manchestrians-Glaswegians, this week it’s the Wanderers wandering into town to face Toronto FC, and some Italians and Greeks are on their way too. One can’t but wonder if tbothot will make it to that as well… Gots to find another free ticket, hey?

Back to this entry: TFC played Bolton in the third annual Carlsberg Cup last night. Recall that the last two have been decided on penalties, with TFC losing each time. Last night was no different.

What was different is that TFC looked pretty assured, right from the start of the match. Gone was the nervous running at opponents we see so often in the first 20 minutes of any MLS match before players settle down. Maybe the EPL players brought their own calm. Maybe it was because it’s a friendly, after all. Bolton scored in the first half and TFC equalized in the 45th minute with perhaps the finest bit of play I have ever seen at BMO Field. Maybe there’s a highlight of it on the ol’ Interweb; I haven’t got still or moving evidence to show of the beautiful cross followed by diagonal header past the no-hope Finnish keeper. High hopes for the second half didn’t materialize, though TFC had several smart chances, including a missed sitter in the 80th that was among the biggest gaffes the Red Faithful have been forced to endure. Moments later, the crowd was collectively thinking ‘if only’..

Somewhere, way down there, were penalties taken

Needless to say, the match did go to penalties and, though Bolton opened the door by missing their first effort, TFC failed to show up Jussi Jaaskelainen and were unable to make two of their own. That was injury enough but the insult came moments before, as there seemed to be an option ahead of the penalties and Bolton was extended the courtesy of choosing where to take them–opting for the north end of the field instead of the south, supporters’ section. This met with howls of derision and that’s as it should be. I believe I slurred a few uncharacteristic expletives myself! Why this is an option, I don’t know. Why we put up with such injustice, I cannot say.

I suppose it would be right to add that it was a good night, all in all. The temperature was warm, the beer was cold, the camaraderie was swell. Had it been a better result, it would have been…better.

Three Days That Changed The World

A few days away from the computer and where are the stories? Who has the energy to write? I haven’t slept in a couple of weeks now and if the overnight temperature doesn’t drop to the promised 17 degrees tonight, I’m no longer going to be responsible for anything I do.

Watching the Detectives

Everywhere I go, cops. One can’t turn around in this city without bumping into a truncheon. Open your windows and the scent of sweat-soaked Kevlar vests wafts in as though they were being cooled on the sill like so many bullet– and blade-proof pies. When I run into the boys in blue, it’s almost always a girl. This past weekend I was able to avoid any cautions or citations from the local constabulary but I was in the presence of one of Toronto’s finest for a couple of hours, along with other sunburnt drunks. We were at the TFC match, all of us, together.

As the match progressed in the 35-degree heat, we (the supporters’ section as a whole) consumed many a quenching cup and hollered many a choice witticism at the field to distract Colorado’s players. Their keeper, Pickens, has shown great tolerance for the skewering he takes in Toronto each season. In fact, he seems to tune out the Red Army Chorus entirely. Feeling the heat and the ale, the supporters began to chant not only mots justes about Colorado’s chances but our own collected desires where one of the hired stadium security  was concerned. “Haaaaawwwwt caaaaawwp!” began the soon-to-be-familiar-refrain.

World Cup Huntsville

Don’t Believe? Believe.

Soccer is Boring?

'before' and 'after' pictures of Passchendaele, WWI. Undetermined number of tennis courts ruined.

The Wimbledon grand slam tennis tournament is also on presently, I’ve just learned. I may not have known this except a couple of men just had to play an 11 hour, five minute long match owing to that competition’s 2-game victory rule. The total of their fifth set was a scoreline of 70-68.

One might argue the viewers certainly got their money’s worth. I might observe there wasn’t much left of the landscape after all that bombardment. Did anyone really win that battle? Who lost toes to trenchfoot?

No Repeat of the 2006 Final, Then.

the good sports toast Slovakia's fortune, join France in disgrace